The thing I can fix in my paper "Painting on the Wall"

My paper "Painting on the Wall" is talking about how an advertisement tries to scare people to stop global warming. I really have a lot of comments on this and I try to put all on the paper, but it does not come out well. I think I should explain some points deeper. My third paragraph is short and not clear. I talk about the sunshine and the person in the advertisement. I should develop more like how I come out with my thought instead of just shouting my thought out. Also, in my sixth paragraph, I shout out what I think but I do not give a connection that can lead my readers to my point. I should tell them that because I live in the United States, I consider the situation of the United States and the waste here. I think my biggest problem in this paper is that I jumped too far from my point to point. I should give some connections that can lead my readers to my flow.